![]() ![]() Funny drinking jokesġ8.) I was drinking last night and my house isn’t where I left it.ġ9.) He was in a pub when he proposed. Me: “Uh yeah, I’m 28, I’ve been out drinking literally hundreds of times.”ġ7.) Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.Ĭheck out these fun and interesting beer quotes. No more reading!ġ0.) I feel sorry for wild animals because it’s like they’re always camping without beer.ġ1.) A camel can work 10 days without drinking, I can drink 10 days without working.ġ2.) Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.ġ3.) What have eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!ġ4.) Guy in bar: ”Have you got anything to drink?”ġ5.) Everyone has their own path, fortunately mine leads to the liquor store. I’ve got way too much blood in my alcohol system.ĥ.) How do you know if someone likes craft beer? Don’t worry they’ll tell you.Ħ.) One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday – eight hours.ħ.) I’m giving up drinking until Christmas!Ĩ.) An epidemiologist, a scientist and a doctor walk into a bar…ĩ.) I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. You had to go to a bar and buy endless drinks to be ignored by multiple women.Ģ.) Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer… I saw the video… we need to talk.ģ.) Hey bartender, I need a beer. ![]() Top 10 best drinking jokesġ.) Son, when I was your age there was no social media. These jokes for drinking are sure to make your friends laugh. Whether you’re heading out on the town or day drinking during a lockdown, you’ll find just the right line to share with your friends. We’ve assembled a hilarious list of drinking humor to get a laugh or a smile out of the toughest audience. © 2023 NYP Holdings, Inc.Be the life of the party with these funny drinking jokes and one-liners. “Everything out of your mouth is a lie!” Jost fires back moments before Santos took another supposed phone call, using a baby as a receiver, to discuss plans for Friendsgiving with Martha Stewart. Santos, who has said he will not run for reelection in 2024, then faked a phone call from Pink, Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, and Mya about taking on a role in a sequel to “Lady Marmalade.” “Isn’t Congress kind of like OnlyFans anyways? People paying you to do nasty things on a sad, bad livestream?” “This has not been a good week for you,” Jost said before listing off the questionable purchases made with thousands of Santos’ campaign dollars, which include subscriptions for the amateur porn site OnlyFans, Botox, and purchases made at Sephora and Hermes. Santos, portrayed by Bowen Yang, was questioned by Weekend Update co-host Colin Jost following a scathing ethics report released last week that revealed the lyin’ Long Island Republican abused his campaign funds for his own personal pleasures. George Santos’ campaign’s dubious spending on things like OnlyFans and Botox and poked fun at panda diplomacy overshadowing President Joe Biden’s summit with his Chinese counterpart. NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” delved into Rep. ![]() ‘SNL’ sends love to Dana Carvey after son Dex’s death as Carvey takes break from acting We found the best prices for Chevy Chase’s ‘Christmas Vacation’ tourĪdam Sandler reveals why Roseanne Barr refused to sing ‘The Chanukah Song’ on ‘SNL’ What do the cheapest tickets cost to see Noah Kahan on tour in 2024? ![]()
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